As I explained to Julie, throughout my entire career as a coach, people contact me because one day they woke up and realized that they want more than just a fwb relationship, and they try to change everything without taking certain rules of seduction into consideration.

From now on, you’ve got to remain aware of this aspect and remain in control of your emotions. However fun your friends with benefits relationship might be right now, it can’t last forever. You’ll need to picture the next part of your story or at least, worst case scenario, control your emotions so that you don’t cave one day and become attached to the other person. If not, you risk hurting yourself or your friend.

Human beings are always attracted to things that do not already belong to them and if you stop presenting a minor challenge or if you don’t maintain enough independence, well, you’re going to have a hard time making him or her want to invest in a real relationship

Julie was completely lost because she loved her freedom, but she was becoming incredibly attached to a man. In the end, she would have liked to feel that she was in a more stable relationship. However, she was the one who set the rules in the beginning and she was worried about his reaction to her wanting to change the type of relationship that they had.

As you can see, she was being very indecisive and it could be seen in her attitude regarding her “f* buddy” (pardon my French…) With the help of my guidance, she was able to communicate to her part time lover that she was acting the way she was simply because she would like more.